If you have never had to deal with Adult ADD, you may not understand this.
It’s difficult some days to keep focused on one thought, project, or conversation from start to finish. Being inside my head sometimes feels as if I have a cage full of squirrels. Think Hammy from “Over the Hedge”. Now multiply that by 12 or 25, depending on the day, level of caffeine I have consumed, and time of year.
Yesterday I woke up at 6 a.m. and I did not stop until almost 10:30 at night. I just kept going, doing things – printing off different patterns for crocheted hats to include in packets I plan to give to a local women’s shelter so I can bust my stash of yarn and crochet hooks down to a more reasonable level; visiting with my father so I could bring him his Ancestry DNA results as he no longer has a printer or even a computer to work it off of; a bit of grocery shopping so I could make a keto version of a French meat pie; and a bunch of other little errands that I just can’t get done during the week.
I’m taking a course on math essentials for data analysis “in my spare time” at home because I’m doing more data analysis at work. I am taking a writing course because I believe my writing can be better. I’ve volunteered to run the lunch catering at a local workshop, I volunteered to run the hospitality room for the first hour at a convention in November, I’m still working on my cookbooks, and I have a full-time job. Thank goodness my son is grown and my husband is mostly self-sufficient.
As far as craft projects go, I’m knitting a shawl for a co-worker, I’m looking to finish off a crochet project, I just picked up TWO lovely cross stitch patterns that I really want to do, I started doing beadwork again, I have so much fabric to sew and I should really make those shopping bags I’ve been talking about…
And then there’s my home office, which I am in the process of cleaning/sorting and shifting around because I’m kicking my husband out of the room so I can have ONE room in this house to myself.
Oh, and lest you think it’s just a case of no focus for more than 5 minutes at a time, then there are the sessions of Hyper-Focus/Obsession. Ask anyone who grew up with me reading books around them – they would have to take the book out of my hands to get my attention. When I get involved in a project, and I mean really *involved* in it, I can’t shift my focus to something else. I absolutely can’t force my brain out of the path it’s on.
“But you have control over yourself!”, people will cry. “Surely you can just drop something or whittle down all the things you do!”
See, that’s just not true. And it’s part of the problem. I’m *actively working* on whittling down to the things I truly love, things that inspire me, things I’m very good at. I just have so many *other* things that have moved in to fill the space, that it’s taking time to narrow it down and get rid of the things that I no longer need in my life. In the meantime, someone shows up with a post about naalbinding in one of my craft groups, and I’m off and running again to learn another thing to do with my time.
Cooking will *always* be a part of who I am. Were I to be blessed with no money worries whatsoever, I would go to culinary school, because I’ve finally realized that is all I’ve ever really wanted to do. I love cooking for parties, the larger the better, and I’m truly happiest when I’m running around like a lunatic putting the finishing touches on the platters as they are going out the door.
I’m also totally nuts, likely to threaten people with whatever implement I have in my hand at the moment if they are upsetting the rhythm of my kitchen, and I will worry and tear my hair out and lose sleep over it until it’s over. Which is why my husband limits me to ONE banquet event a year to volunteer for Head Chef role.
So, folks, I apologize that I haven’t been writing, didn’t report on the *amazing* pan-fried radishes we did a few weeks back, and haven’t gotten to the artichokes yet.
My squirrels have been going 75 miles an hour and in 15 different directions.